A big congratulations to my Chicas Brillantes
(Bright Girls) group that graduated this past Sunday, July 13th. We
had an awesome time! In honor of Nelson Mandela's Day of Service, I thought it was only right to share my experience as a volunteer working with this group of girls.
I started this program because I felt obligated to
do it based on some of the experiences that I had in the Dominican Republic.
There is so much development that needs to be done in this country when it
comes to character building and identity. I saw it as my personal duty to show
these girls a new light and help them discover a new truth that would bring
forth positivity, empowerment, and confidence. It's like Mary Wollstonecraft
said, it is not my wish that these girls have power over boys, but that they
have power over themselves. I knew that if I was not the one reaffirming who
God created them to be and showing them that they are beautiful, powerful,
important, and intelligent forces to be reckoned with, then they may never have
known it.
I consider this one of my greatest and most
significant accomplishments as a Peace Corps Volunteer in the Dominican
Republic. There were so many times that I wanted to give up and drop this
group. In fact, I put them on suspension once for 2.5 weeks and less than a
month before the graduation, I completely dropped the group. Both of these
times, something in my spirit told me that it was not the right decision. I
felt that giving up on the group inadvertently meant giving up on them. I
regard these girls as if they were my little sister (and you all know how much
I love her!!): I feed them, do their hair, laugh at their corny jokes, give
them advice, have “boy talk,” I play kiddie games with them, we have Disney
movie nights on my computer, you know- all big sister stuff. So, I could
not just be another person out there in the world who closed yet another door
in their face, snatched away their happiness, and made them feel undeserving. I
was just tired of having one thousand pow wows, frustrated from always having
to reprimand or discipline someone, and sometimes it did not feel as if I was
making a difference.
Then, one night during some reflection time, I
realized that all of my frustrations, disappointments, discouragement, and lack
of motivation were surrounded by “I.” I was the root of it all! I was the one
inhibiting myself. All along, I made this about me and not them; that was the
problem! I think some of you can relate to this as well. Sometimes we forget
the very reason and purpose we began whatever we are pursuing. We lose sight of
the intention and the great plan as we become consumed with ourselves and our
feelings. Long story short, I had to learn to step outside of myself and
realize that if I was going to truly empower and impact the lives of these
girls, it could not be about me; I could not allow my personal agenda and my
unconscious behavior to affect the potential of what I was doing.
I used to define success by so many standards,
but when doing something where the results are not exactly tangible, it becomes
a bit more difficult. "Success" for me has been when a young girl
says that she loves the program and that it has helped her become more
confident or when at 12 year old girl says, "I never want to put
chemicals in my hair." Just to hear them say that they have learned
something, that they have gained something- that is what success
is! Starting Bright Girls, I thought this would be easy! I could just say
a few words, do a few activities, and BAM- they would be empowered! But, nope!
There are some things that a manual just cannot teach you. It was not enough to
tell them they were beautiful, worthy, brave, and smart. It just was not
sufficient; we have to show them! Oftentimes words can fall on deaf ears and
hardened hearts because everyone has their own experiences and their own
reality based on those experiences. Therefore, if you have grown up
with negativity being fed into your life and you have been walking in
to all of these situations where you just did not feel worthy or up to
par, and your character and who you believed yourself to be is constantly
minimized, that becomes a part of who you are. It becomes something
that you have internalized; it becomes your truth. Consequently, no one
tells you that your truth is actually wrong and that it is invalid; thus you
continue to use that as a means to gauge who you are and your value.
I tried to use different modes to validate these girls. I also sought to
not allow only my words, but my actions to do it as well. I had to show them
because I believe that it is important for us to demonstrate and
constantly reaffirm who young girls are, who they can become,
and the potential that they have to be who they want to be despite where they
come from, despite what they have been told in the past, and despite their
current circumstance. When we do this and add
the liberation factor, which is very important, then I think it
becomes something that they can internalize and truly accept as them being
who they are and walking in truth to becoming bright empowered girls!
In the past 4-5 months working with this Bright
Girls group, I have learned a lot about myself. I thought I was in this to
empower them, but I find myself even more empowered as well. I have learned
that anything I believe to be important is worth fighting for, even if it
contradicts the current circumstance. I have experienced that some girls may
never know what it feels like to be empowered, but once they get a taste of it,
that’s enough fuel to get the fire going. I am not saying that we all have to
be Angela Davis, Maya Angelou, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, or whoever, but
young girls, or young people in general, are worth your investment. They may
have low self-esteem, but maybe no one ever taught them their worth; they may
appear small-minded, but maybe no one ever showed them the world; they may be
lost, broken, discouraged, hurt, and confused, but maybe, just maybe, they are
waiting for you to save them, to tell them that even if the pieces to the
puzzle are scattered- there is still a puzzle, to encourage them, show them
love and healing, and to guide them. Service is such an easy thing to do, yet so many of us turn the other cheek. If you have never served before, today is the day to get out there and do something. We all have been blessed with gifts, talents, and experiences that may benefit someone. So, stop holding back what has been entrusted to you with the intention of serving the world. Madiba said, "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead." Whatever profession you are in, you can
always serve. Your service may not take you to a rural community in the
Dominican Republic, it may be in your living room empowering your niece or
speaking life to someone on the streets. Whatever it is, whatever you do- you
can always, and I mean ALWAYS make even the smallest difference count.
-Mandela, thank you for your progress, love, contribution, and impact in the lives of not only my South African brothers and sisters, but the beating hearts of this world. May your name forever resound in the depths of the universe. Today my service is dedicated to you!- Forever Mandela <3
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